victory of the heart

January 17, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged

All my wish and hope has been answered. My heart already decides what suit me best.

And when the choices already decide, there always something will certainly defeated.

I want it all end up perfectly like what I expected.

But I have to get through it all with all of my strength.

Because if I getting dissolved in the pieces of those large ripples. I would be useless

If I lost my love, it will hurt me so badly

I recognize the term of “nobody perfect” but to keep up with the love, there’s no need a perfection i guess.

Loves comes from the heart

Cannot be blamed when the love comes to decide what the best.

I give away my self when I aimed to love you even if without being loved.

So I decide my heart. I admit that I don’t want to fall in the same hole. I hate to feel all the sadness that I’ve been through. It ruins myself.

Now, I want to win my heart

It is okay for me to love what I love even without being loved. Because all I know, love is all about giving and sincere.

At the end, when u already feels my love, Could you please drop down your guard for me?

Don’t be selfish.

Learn how to love without repay

Like I give it all to you. No time limited. No need outside intervention.

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bule oh bule

December 11, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized

masyarakaaaatttttttt……………

gue kangen lo oh buleeeeeeeeeeee……………………..

paraaaaahhhhhhh……………………..

dasar buleeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

susah banget sih gue ngertiin jalan pikirannyaaa………………….

gak bisa apa ya lo jadi orang indo ajaa biar gampang nebak jalan pikiran lo….. set dah setttttt……………

susaaahhhh amaaatttt daahhhh…….

kebanyakan rules yang harus gue lakuin kalo mau deket sama lo………………

ini lah itu lah…. susah tau play hard to get……. im too silly to play this sorta games! hikssss

mau kamu sekarang jugaaaa!!!!!!

i want you to tucked me in bed just like a child now.

i cant sleep.. i miss you..

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geregetan

December 7, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized

apa bedanya cowo bule sama cowo indo?

ada gak sih bedanya?

kok kayaknya lebih complicated yah?

kayaknya kalo cowo indo tuh gampang banget dirayunya. udah gitu lebih banyak gombalannya. gak bisa ngeliat ada cewe single dikit langsung hajar ajaa…. (kesannya lebih murahan dalam soal pacaran)

kalo cowo bule, lebih murahan lagi dalam hal gak mencari relationship. tapi kalo mereka udah mau pacaran. bagus. soalnya kayaknya mereka susah banget yahh dalam urusan berkomitmen. (eh iya gak sih? gatau lah gue. bingung.)

nah kalo cowo indo yang pola pikirnya kaya bule gimana dong?

orang indo yang gak pernah tinggal di indo, dan lebih mirip bule berukuran kecil dan berwajah asia. agak aneh sih memang.. tapi itu ada loh.. dan super bikin gue geregetan nih sekarang! arrgh… pengen marahh….

gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………………………

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keep my chin up, occupy myself, anddd….. MOVE ON!

December 4, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged ,

“Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead of running around and pulling all your threads and breaking yourself up”

If it’s a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it’s a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I’m doing everything

*jason mraz – details in a fabric*

lagu yang kayaknya bakal menjadi backsound gue sepanjang hari ini.

gila maann… muke gue udah super-sembab banget nih gara gara belom tidur tidur daritadi. udah hampir jam lima pagi padahal. dan harusnya gue capek banget malem tadi karena tadi abis main futsal dari jam setengah sembilan sampe jam setengah dua belas malem. heraan.. kenapa yaa stamina gue belakangan jadi kalong banget. pagi tidur, malem melek. mirip banget deh sama kalong (kelelawar) atau kalau dalam bahasa inggrisnya adalah owl. eh itu mah burung hantu ya.. maksudnya bat. si batman. nah kalo gue kan cewek, berarti batgirl dong. (bukan badgirl yah. awas salah baca!) halah apa sih cha. oke fokus! fokus! jadi…. intinya gak tidur nih semaleman dan hari esok perhaps jadi hari yang paling sangat tidak efektif dan tidak bermanfaat. (secara pasti gue bangun siang dan kehilangan setengah dari hari gue dengan sia sia) buruukkk…. burukk sekaliii….. oh oh mengapa buruk sekalii? oh oh dikarenakan saya sedang gak jelas hari ini.. oh ayah oh bunda…. ohhh…… (zzzzzzzz)

oke, harusnya gue menjelaskan ya kenapa lyrics lagu details in a fabric itu gue taro dipaling atas post-an gue.. jadi sebenarnya teman teman, itu semua disebabkan oleh karena gue sedang fase “move on”. eitss… bentar dulu nih.. jangan langsung berfikiran kalo gue mau curhat tentang masalah love life gue.. karena eh karena, kalo move on kan gak cuman harus karena lagi broken heart doang. misalnya contohnya:

  • mau move on dari masa lalu yang buruk, jadi gak mau ngulangin hal yang buruk buruk lagi dimasa akan datang.
  • mau move on dari masa masa remaja yang labil (anak anak jaman sekarang menyebut dengan kata “ababil” or abg labil) untuk menjadi lebih baik lagi. (contoh : gak lagi labil or gak lagi plin plan, berfikiran lebih maju kedepan, berpendirian yang kuat).
  • mau move on untuk menjadi lebih mature dalam segala hal.
  • dan sebagainya dan sebagainya. ( salah satunya juga sih move on dari ‘mantan pacar’. gak memungkiri ).

oke, jadi itulah alasannya.. gue sudah merasa terlalu lama terjebak dalam ‘black hole’ yang membuat gue susah untuk lift myself up dan berjalan ke arah yang benar. (boro boro jalan, bangun aja udah susah) dan gue merasa, sekarang adalah saatnya! saatnya gue maju kedepan, bukannya hanya diam dan jalan ditempat. terlalu banyak masukan dan dukungan positif dari orang lain yang gue sia siakan gitu aja. jadi, sekarang adalah momentum dari itu semua. i will keep my chin up! occupy myself with positive things and thoughts! thheeeennnnn….. i will MOVE ON!

if it’s a broken part, replace it

if it’s a broken arm then brace it

if it’s a broken heart then face it

Hold your own..
Know your name..
And go your own way..

And everything will be fine


so, keep fighting for yourself sweetheart!

cheers :)

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soledad – westlife

December 4, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged ,

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There’s an image of your face
And once again I come I’ll realise
You’re a loss I can’t replace

Soledad
It’s a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of nothing ville
Where our love was young and free
Can’t believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can’t still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Soledad
It’s a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we’re meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Soledad
It’s a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me ?
Soledad

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go straight. and never looking back.

December 1, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged ,

when i woke up in the morning, my minds distracted

. . . i am restless . . .

i had a bad dream.

yes, a bad dream about you.

you, who came to my life for the past few years, and built up this feelings and hope, has left me with this pain

even though i never betrayed on you, but you left me alone.

honestly, i had no strength to move on.

i thought that we belong together. as you always said

but then you lied..

i keep on waiting and counting on the days.,

i am waiting for the day when you realize that I was the only one.

counting . . .
waiting . . .
and waiting . . .

” where are those shining pearls? “

. . you were never there . .

i miss the glimpse of pretty face and the warmth of that smile

. . .


so, now, im here..

dreaming for a better life, a better future to come.

no one can help me cure this pain.

only me, the one and the only one who can lift myself up . . .

so i keep walking. straight. and fast.

trying to forget the past and get rid of my future dreams with you

because i will . . .

i know that i will

living my life happy without you

and hear this song mister. i am proudly present it. it is all my feeling for you now!

armin van buuren – im fine without you

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love a.k.a lope a.k.a cinta

December 1, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged

L O V E . .

what is love?

what is the meaning of love?

kalau dalam bahasa indonesia sih, love itu artinya cinta. nah kalo kata om google, “Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states”. as cited in wikipedia.org (site yang terkenal unreliable but i do rely on wiki for this sort of question.lol)

to sum up, love is something that consists of a variety of feeling and a sense of strong affection, that making it difficult to expressed with words. or in the other word i can said that love can not be explained by words but you can feel the love around you. xp

kadang banyak orang yang bilang kalo cinta itu buta. padahal mah cinta itu kan gak punya mata. cinta itu hanya perasaan kasih sayang, yang kalau dikumpulin sedikit-dikit, lama lama bisa jadi bukit. (kaya nabung aja dikit dikit lama lama jadi bukit) nah gak salah kan tuh berarti kalo ada banyak cewe cewe yang cantik terus pacaran sama cowo yang jelek. or vice versa. tapi biasanya sih ya kalo fakta yang ini ‘cewe cantik punya pacar yang jelek’ itu rata rata cowonya punya dompet yang tebel, alias tajirr jirr jirr… hehehe… secara yahh kan ada lagunya tuh “cewek matre, cewek matre, ke laut ajee” (out of topic) hehe.. oke, tapi kadang juga ada sih cewek atau cowok yang pasangannya jelek tapi gak tajir. (walaupun jarang) itu biasanya tipe cewe ato cowo yang melihat pasangan bukan dari segi fisiknya aja melainkan dari hatinya juga. (masih ada gak sih jaman sekarang orang yang kaya begitu?) well, yaudahlah yaa… still don’t know how does the LOVE works.. namanya juga love a.k.a lope a.k.a cinta.. it is not blind, but it only sees what matters.

so buat anda anda yang sedang jatuh cinta. selamat menikmati :)

but lemme reminds you one thing, “when you agree to fall in love means that you are ready for broken heart”.

good luck with your love sweethearts . . . cups cups

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hello december..

December 1, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged

tanggal satu di penghujung tahun 2009.

sebentar lagi 2010 dimulai nih.

gak kerasa yahh satu tahun itu cepet banget berlalu. perasaan baru kemarin new year eve ngeliat fireworks di surfers paradise, jejel jejelan sama orang banyak. tahun baru pertama tanpa keluarga di indonesia. (eh enggak deng, thn baru sebelumnya juga di bali tanpa keluarga, tapi sama keluarga sang mantan. sigh) nah tahun baru sekarang juga unfortunately gak bisa pulang lagi nih ke indo dan ngerayain tahun baru disana. sedihh.. kangen temen temen.. kangen kakak gue.. eh iya ngomong ngomong soal kakak, tahun ini bakalan jadi tahun terakhir kakak gue jadi single lohh. (fyi:kakak gue yang kedua bakal married february 2010.yeay!) bahagia banget rasanya ngeliat kakak gue bakal married. walaupun sempet agak kaget juga karena cepet banget dia ambil keputusan untuk married. karena gue kenal cwnya aja baru october kemaren pas gue pulang indo. (setelah setahun gue gak pulang pulang kaya bang toyib). well, tapi good luck for you my bro. i always love you. *kisskiss :)

ngebahas tentang tahun baru, pasti berkaitan dong yahh sama resolusi awal tahun. semua orang pasti punya harapan harapan tentang masa depannya ditahun yang baru. walopun kalo buat diri gue sendiri, resolusi gue kayaknya jarang tuh ada yang pernah tercapai. (sedihnyaa) hehe.. tapi yahh itulah manusia, kayaknya kalo ngomong tuh gampaaangggg bangettt…. nah giliran disuruh ngelakuin, susyahnya minta ampyun! (ngomong gaya banci)

tapi yahh lumayan lah.. setidaknya kalo udah ada plan-nya, kita kan jadi gampang buat ngejalaninnya. jadi kalo menurut saran dari gue, “jangan pernah menyerah dalam hidup”. dalam artian jangan pernah capek buat bikin resolusi di tahun baru. hekhek.. karena dengan begitu kita jadi tau apa yang kita harapkan dan kita coba capai. dan kalau pun emang belum bisa terealisasi, bisa diperbaharui kan untuk ke depannya. jadi setidaknya ada sesuatu yang nge-lead kita untuk menjalankan semua cita cita kita diwaktu yang akan datang. iya gak? iya gak?

jadi okelah kalau begitu, buat teman teman, om dan tante, bapak bapak ibu ibu, semua yang ada disini.. jangan pernah menyerah yaa untuk menggapai cita cita dan harapan setinggi langit. mumpung gak bayar dan gak ada yang ngelarang bok! so, gak ada salahnya kan :p ciao semua.. selamat bermimpi!

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i am very glad that we cleared the air :)

November 30, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

berawal dari rasa saling tertarik antara satu sama lain.

Me, who just a girl who lack of friend and attention and dont know what am i was doing at that time. came to Canberra for the first time and plan to study at uni without passion, because honestly i really want to stay in Brisbane but my parent force me to study in canbee. so i came down there without knowing that i am ready for the next big thing, which is study and live there for about 3 years or even more.

and this guy is a high school friend of my best friend. his appearance was not so eye catchy, but he impressed me like a LOT. to me, he is a very strong and mature and smart yet a bit tricky kinda guy. he fluently speak in 3 different language. he finished his undergraduate studies at a very young age (means that he is so smart.fyi:i always fell in love with a smart guy) and after dat he doing his master of business as well as working at embassy. (imagine how hard worker he is) we sort of like each other and been in crush long long time ago. (more than a year ago) but he always thought that he was only my “rebound guy” (me and my x was broke up due to the long distance thingy) but i dont know why, after all years goes by, our feelings would never disappear. we knew in our heart that our love last forever. even if we never give us a try to be in a relationship. (as myself in brissy now and he still in canbee) but suddenly something happened. he just had crush with someone else. (too complicated to be explained) as a result, i never tried to contact him again and vice versa.

and at the night before, my feelings explode. i am in a very high level of upset. i am restless.. due to much predicament that happened in my life.

suddenly, i miss him. i miss a guy who taught me how to live and survive in this cruel world. so I ventured to try to contact him through offline message ym. i said : “just so you know that i miss you in every single time of my life”

a day after, he started the conversation through msn chat. i am shocked. i never thought that he will try to contact me after all the silent that we made. at first we just talk about our general life. but then i wondered if he had received my offline message. but then he said no. sooooooo……… he wondered what was in my offline message. until at last he greeted me at ym

owh..
hmm yea i dont know wht to say icha
hehe..
ive just opened it


crap!

haha gatau
udah lah.. im glad were friend now
so no need to resist me yahh if im doing wrong
i know that u want to move on and i have no rights to stop you
so i let you go
but i dont ever want u go away from me without knowing that i am care for you, because i do
u know it was really hard for me knowing that u had crush with someone else
but i realized that i cant do anything.
so, thats it
we still can be a good friend kan


hmm yeah actually i dont know what to say icha.. but lemme tell you one this..
you are a very good girl cha, very kind, sympathic and care to other
u can be so fun, so happy, and sad at the same time sometimes..
you are still young, you can still look for new experiences, look for new moments..
your life is still long.. in fact, your new life in aussie has just begin
as for me, i am very glad have known a girl like you, i do..
a girl that really show her care to me while you are still in canberra
a girl that makes everyone around you happy
however, i cannot make you happy icha.. i am sure i m sure there ll be many guys who are waiting for you out there..
who can show his love to you and makes you even more happier that I do
another reason is i cannot play anymore cha, i had enough bad experiences w girls and ex-girlfriends who at the end have disappointed me
and hurt me so much that i became so tired
i realised that one day when i knew this girl whom i had crush for years but never told her my feelings since then..
that one day came suddenly few months ago, and i had the chance to know her better
and since then, i promised to myself that i will change my life and plan ahead for my future..
until now cha..
i am sure, this similar time will happen to you sometimes later, only time will answer for you cha..
so yeah, thats it
im sorry it was a long one and my english wasnt properly written cuz dah malem dan aku langsung tulis aja, hahaha
sorri


Thats it.. that was all of my expectation. no tears, no sad feelings or even broken heart. i am willing you to fly and catch your dreams.. i’ll be very glad here to watch you fly away with those of freedom, and dreams.. i will never want you to go away, because i knew i love you, and i do love you in a different way. this is the truly love means. it will never force you and wont disappear.

now, i am very proud to call you, my big boy :)

i love you big boy. i love you

you are my inspiration

x.o.x.o

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hi new post

November 29, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged

its been long time enough haven’t updates my junk on this lovely-nice-site. So, say hii to the new post, say hii to curhat-colongan, and say hii to my dramatic-kind-of-life. haha..

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